Renunciation

I’ve an aunt, who’s now staying in some temple in Thailand. I’m contacting her, wanting to join her over there. Still waiting for her reply…

I can’t stand the pains during this period of self-healing. Though I’ve been through such heartaches several times, it’s just too much for me to handle now. It just seems harder and harder each time.

I had promised him I wouldn’t go into renunciation so long as we were together. Now that everything is over…I’ll begin my journey towards it.

In his numerous texts last night, I was thinking if he would ask for the last chance. If he did, I would think of giving it a last try. Eventually, he didn’t. I even tried calling him, which brought me more hurt in the end.

Most likely, it’s my destiny to go towards this direction. Once the coordination and arrangement is done, I’ll be away for a long while. It’ll be quite a while before I start writing again. Or I might never return.

If I don’t return, may all memories of me fade along with time. Amitabha.

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Move On

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He blames me for the failure of the relationship. It’s ok. I’m fine. Though it still hurts. I’ll recover from it. He’s moving on. I wish him happiness.

Fallen Angel

This very last relationship makes me ponder…

Why are there sluts who simply luv to cling on to men who are already taken? Don’t they feel bad about ruining others’ relationships?

My ethical values are always about leaving attached men alone. I believe so much in karma, that I would never think of coming in between a couple. Even if the relationship is on the rocks, I wouldn’t wanna get involved till they come to the end.

Now, I’m really sick and tired of having all my relationships (yes, each and every of my relationships) ruined by infidelities.

Why should I still be the kind soul here, waiting to be stabbed all over again? Why don’t I just heck care about all the ethical values and take revenge on all the men out there?

Pondering……